Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Send help, water and tortillas.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
