Jerry, you need to find god
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
