Kiss
Puke
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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