Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
