he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
