whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
