don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize