he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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