Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
