I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
