Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
