can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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