i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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