If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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