i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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