I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I am available for nakedness
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
