sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
