I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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