You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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