Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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