U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
