Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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