How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
