i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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