Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why is there bacon in the couch?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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