Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
