ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
