found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
