the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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