We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She told me I should be a condom model.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
