your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This is not my ceiling
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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