No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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