You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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