..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i think my mom watched the whole time
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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