She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
try to milk me bitch
Randomize