Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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