they need to just BURY HIM!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
