I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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