i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
