Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
