Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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