Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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