Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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