Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
