I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
