he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She told me I should be a condom model.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
