new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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