the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
last night I used snow as a chaser
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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