I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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