just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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