the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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