a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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