At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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