To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
