I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
