So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize