omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have demons in me.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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