I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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