I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
