Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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